Satire: Draft of Trump’s inaugural address discovered!
“I have a dream!”
Karikatur: DonkeyHotey, CC-BY-SA-2.0, Bearbeitung: lux
“Now the trumpet summons us again – You and I have a rendezvous with destiny”: If you vote for Trump, he promises that he’s “never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down”. Karikatur: DonkeyHotey, CC-BY-SA-2.0, Bearbeitung: lux
“Now the trumpet summons us again – You and I have a rendezvous with destiny”: If you vote for Trump, he promises that he’s “never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down”.

The scandal continues: After Melania Trump apparently plagiarizing Michelle Obama in her speech last week, the real writer has come forward. Ghost writer Rick Roll claims that (in light of recent events and after an overthrow with the Trump family) he’d rather go public himself than “being dragged kicking and screaming into the limelight.” The grad student (English Literature) makes a living selling speeches to politicians and their families. In an exclusive interview, he has shown us some of his work. The :bsz procured exclusive rights to a particularly juicy piece – an early draft for Donald Trump’s inaugural address as President of the United States.

“Friends, Americans, countrymen, lend me your ears! Who is here so vile that will not love his country? There is nothing wrong in America that can‘t be fixed with what is right in America. If anyone tells you that America‘s best days are behind her, they‘re looking the wrong way.

“Let us look to the future with confidence”

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal’. Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and the success of liberty. In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility – I welcome it.

And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more! This Nation is asking for action, and action now. There are many ways in which it can be helped, but it can never be helped by merely talking about it. We must act. We must act quickly.

“We are the change that we seek”

What kind of nation we will be, what kind of world we will live in, whether we shape the future in the image of our hopes, is ours to determine by our actions and our choices. It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we‘ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. 

There is nothing wrong with America that the faith, love of freedom, intelligence and energy of her citizens cannot cure. The man who can look upon a crisis without being willing to offer himself upon the altar of his country is not for public trust. We have nothing to fear but fear itself. May we be ever unswerving in devotion to principle, confident but humble with power, diligent in pursuit of the nations’ great goals.

The United States is the best and fairest and most decent nation on the face of the earth. This great nation will endure, as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. I have a dream that one day we will make America great again!”

This speech was procured exclusively for the :bsz by  

:Stefanie Lux

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